Last night Colby got home a little late from showing some houses, but still decided to mow the lawn. We are currently living on over a half acre property with a TON of grass, so mowing the lawn is no quick task. The sun was going down and the boys had already showered for bed. Cohen heard the lawn mower start up and eagerly wanted to go “ride the tractor” with Colby. Cohen sat on Colby’s lap on the mower while Easton and I picked up the toys from the yard. Trevin decided to stay inside since he was in is pajamas (more like he wanted to play on his iPad instead).
After about a half hour, it was getting dark. Cohen started nodding his head and was definitely ready for bed. I took Cohen from Colby and we headed up to his room to bed. I called for Trevin & Easton and told them to brush their teeth. As I went to lay Cohen in his bed he woke up and said, “Mama lay by me.” Lately hearing him call me “Mama” is my absolute favorite thing in the world. I have been called a number of different names from my kids but never “Mama.”
With all the boys in their beds, I laid next to Cohen. He was chatting and apparently didn’t want to go to sleep. I was contracting, my back hurt, and I was tired myself. I started to quietly sing some primary songs to him and rubbed his back. After a few minutes, he finally dozed off to sleep…
I laid in his bed with him for about thirty more minutes. For some reason my mind drifted off to my own childhood days. The sounds of the cars whistling by in the street below, the old home feel, the glimmer from the light across the street peeking in through the blinds, and the humidity in their room brought back all fond memories of living in Springville. As a little girl, I remember my bedroom looking and feeling exactly the way their room feels. I was reminded of looking out my window to the cars on the street below and the tall lights glowing over at Grant Elementary School. Summer days were spent irrigating with my grandparents, playing night games with the neighbor kids, and riding Grandma & Grandpa’s lawn mower with them, just like Cohen does with Colby.
I never once felt neglected, lonely, or unloved. I had the best childhood and remember nothing but fond memories. Our home was a place of happiness and comfort. I knew when I was at home with my parents that everything was ok. Last night, I wondered if this is how my own children feel. Do they love their life? Do they feel safe in their home? And do they ever feel neglected or less fortunate in any way?
I want nothing but the best for my children. I want home to be a place of comfort and happiness. I want my children to play in the grass, build forts, play in the dirt, jump on the trampoline, ride their bikes to the park, and enjoy being kids. Last night as I lay close by them while they were sleeping, I wondered what they were dreaming of. As a mother, I hope they were dreaming of a childhood exactly like mine.
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