The Pursuit of Happiness

Early Wednesday morning I was driving to work. It was a gloomy rainy day. I was already tired and not excited about being up since four am. As I was listening to the radio, the hosts were talking about twelve toxic behaviors that push people away from you. Some of these behaviors include: being envious of everyone else, taking everything too personal, acting like you’re always the victim, hoarding pain and loss, obsessive negative thinking, making superficial judgements about others, hiding your truth, etc. This conversation made me contemplate my own life and the way I choose to live my life. Am I a happy person? Do I radiate a positive attitude? Do I judge others wrongfully?

Right then I decided to say a prayer. I prayed for a good attitude despite the fact that I had started the day with a bad one. I prayed for my co-workers and the doctors who would be helping with my patients that day. I prayed for my patients, their families, and their loved ones. I prayed for myself that I might be able to do my best in order to help make my patients day better or possibly save their life. I prayed for peace.

Little did I know what the outcome of the day would bring…

For one particular family, it was a day they thought would probably never come. I won’t get into details (because I can’t) but my heart broke for a young family. Several times throughout the day, with tears in my eyes, I had to walk into another room and gather my composure. Sometimes as a nurse, it can be extremely hard to stay strong in front of the family, when deep down inside, your heart is breaking.

We are all humans with the same emotions. Every one of us has trials. Some people have bigger obstacles to overcome while others have it a little easier, or so it may appear. While you may think your trials are harder than other individuals, you have no idea what is going on in another person’s life. However, in my opinion, just because you are having a bad day, or week, try to have a good attitude. Look at the bright side of things and focus on your blessings rather than your burdens. I promise this can completely change the outlook on your life. I can promise this because I have experienced it, especially in the last few months.

Happiness isn’t something that falls on our doorstep everyday. Happiness is something we have to work for. Strive for. Pursue.

As a mother, I hope my children always recognize the blessings in their lives, rather than the trials or burdens they are facing. Sometimes life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t give us the right to place blame on others, or never forgiving others. I have tried to find the beauty and the blessings in all aspects of my life recently. I have been faced with trials I never saw coming. I have been angry, lonely, confused, and scared, but through my trials I have strived to stay positive and not let others carry my burdens or see my negative thoughts.

I am doing my best at pursuing happiness.

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