I have decided to make it a goal to post each Sunday.

We recently sold our home (to an amazing family) and moved into another house here in Nephi. It’s about 100 years old and has amazing character! I was so excited to move into this new home, design it, and save a lot of money living here, but honestly, it’s been super stressful as well.

We sold most of our furniture with our old house and therefore moved into our new home with basically a mattress for everyone to sleep on. We didn’t have a kitchen table, a stove (for about a week), dressers for anyone, and numerous other things. I had a good attitude about it for about a week and then I started to get sick of nowhere to eat, dirty clothes mixed in with clean clothes, no appliances to cook meals, boxes everywhere, etc.

Thankfully this past week (about a month later) I am slowly starting to get furniture into the house. My boys have a dresser, we have a kitchen table with chairs to sit on, a couch, a stove, a working washer and dryer, and the boxes are slowly getting emptied. I still have a lot of organizing and decorating to do, but it’s slowly coming along. I am getting more and more excited about living in this home, making memories with my family, and designing a new home!

Life has been stressful and unorganized and I am starting to drive my family crazy. Or at least I think I am. Between organizing a house, refinishing a few pieces of furniture, working, being a mom, planning a baptism, and Cohen being sick, I felt like I was on my last straw. The last few nights Easton hasn’t been acting like himself again (read THIS POST if you don’t know what I’m talking about). He hasn’t been eating, he runs low grade fevers, and sleeps nearly 15-16 hours a day! Again, maybe it’s just a little virus or bacterial infection, but my mind gets racing again about the “what if” scenarios.

Tonight I gave him some Tylenol and a cold drink of water. We walked up to his bedroom and organized his blankets. “The soft one goes on the bottom with the BYU pillow on top. Then you put this blanket on top.” I tucked him into bed and kissed his cheek. I told him probably ten times how much I loved him and wished he wasn’t sick. The last time I said “I love you” he said, “I love you more.” I just needed to hear that simple phrase to make my entire week. Of course my eyes swelled up with tears as I replied, “I love you most.” I gave him his favorite blanket, turned down the lights, and said goodnight.

I walked down the stairs with tears in my eyes while saying a simple prayer in my heart hoping he would get better soon.

For the last hour I have been thinking again about how blessed my life is. Why does it take trials or sickness to make me realize my life is better than what it sometimes seems?

I work tomorrow at the hospital and Colby will take him to the Doctor. More testing to come I’m sure. Here’s to praying for my Little E and hoping he gets better soon!

I suddenly realized it would be cute to have Cohen be one of the “Lost Boys” and searched for a skunk costume. Miraculously, my sister-in-laws friend had the cutest skunk costume and said we could borrow it! I was thrilled!

Three costumes. Three Hours. Done.

Some days these two can fight like they are enemies and other days they love each other to no end. Today they loved each other.

…and I loved watching them!

Tonight I begged Colby to let me capture their wrestling on video. He hates pictures and especially videos, but tonight he let it slide. And I’m so glad he did.

You can watch the video HERE

You can view a small video I put together HERE with assistance from my sister-in-law Tana for shooting some of the footage for us!

With all the madness that happens in our house, it’s sometimes hard to find time to provide service for others when you find you can barely keep up with your own family and their responsibilities. After feeling a little stressed over Easton’s blood work and Colby being gone the last four days, I realized I needed something to brighten my spirits and pass the time before Colby would come home.

Rewind to last week:

We are in the process of finishing our basement and we had one half of the basement left to frame. We had some things we needed out of the basement to make room for the framing. This included some couches that we had bought a long time ago and no longer needed at this time. Some friends came and helped Colby move the couches upstairs and I quickly took some pictures to post on the Nephi Indoor Yard Sale. After numerous emails and comments on the couches, someone came and looked at them, and purchased the couches. I posted SOLD on the site and that’s where the fun began. Not really actually.

A girl was quite upset with me that I sold them to someone else. She posted my name for all to see and discriminated me on the site while blocking me so I couldn’t defend myself. Numerous friends and family members commented on her post describing me as an honest individual who was loved and cared for in the community. After about thirty minutes of people commenting, I felt so loved and appreciated by these people that I realized how kind people can be (some of which don’t really know me completely). I decided I wanted to do something for some of them.

Over the weekend, I made some white popcorn for three of these  individuals and also a freezer meal for another. I delivered the goods to their house with a simple Thank You note. I made some more treats two days later and delivered them to a few people who have served in our Primary and provided service through filling in when people weren’t able to attend church. Yesterday I made some more of those treats and delivered them to five of my friends, some who have helped draw blood on Easton as well as some of my best friends, just because I wanted them to know they were loved and appreciated.

My adorable niece had surgery yesterday and Easton had to go in for his second round of blood work. We went to the hospital to see Marlee and tried to cheer her up. While we were at the hospital, Easton got his blood drawn with assistance from his Grandpa Craig. Marlee was discharged and we came to Hilary’s house. We played with Marlee for a few minutes. I bought my sister and my niece some lunch and we came home.

At the end of the day, my kitchen was a disaster and signs of baking were everywhere. The boys had been “helping” me make the treats we delivered and so you can imagine the mess I had to clean. However, I was trying to teach my children to serve others and the happiness that comes from doing so. The boys were so excited to hold the candy jars in their hand and help me walk them to the door. When all the treats were delivered, I had the best feeling. Sometimes when you’re stressed or life gets too busy for you to handle, providing service is the best medicine.

And the best news of the day…

Easton’s blood work came back completely normal! My prayers were answered!

Back to the lab we went.

And then back to the clinic to wait for the results.

Easton’s strep screen was negative so Dr. Rosenbeck was still concerned about his CRP level as well as his White Blood Cell Count. He advised us to return in two weeks for a follow up CBC. He was worried about a few things. As a nurse, I knew what he was talking about and tried not to let it get to me. The “what if” senarios came rushing through my mind.

After we arrived home for the evening, it seemed like everything was “abnormal” with Easton. He wasn’t eating, he was limping on one leg (even my mom noticed this), and he was really tired all the time. I couldn’t hold my emotions in that night while making dinner and Colby could tell it was getting to me. I tried not to worry about things but for some reason, I couldn’t shake it off. I was nervous about Easton and just wanted answers. Fast.

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The same thing happened the next day. All I wanted to do was make him eat and get him better.  Throughout the day we rested on the couch and watched some of his favorite movies while Trevin was at school. I took him to Bev’s as requested for a “brown cow drink” and a sugar cookie. I put a humidifier back into his room, rubbed extra vasseline into his nose, and prayed things would work out. When deciding what to make for dinner, I let him choose. First he chose taquitos. Didn’t eat anything. Next he chose a quesadilla. Didn’t eat anything. Finally, a little waffle crisp cereal did the trick and I felt good about getting something in his stomach. We said our nightly prayers and off to bed he went.

Colby kept asking me why I was so emotional and what was wrong. I explained to him why I was so worried. He agreed that there were some things that were a little “odd” with his behavior lately but, he felt like there was nothing to worry about. He hugged me while my eyes swelled with tears and comforted me. The rest of the night with Colby was spent enjoying The Blacklist and watching some basketball. I remember falling asleep on the couch because I was just so tired.

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Throughout this whole week, it has been very evident that prayer and faith are something I cannot live without. The peace and comfort that comes from asking for the Lord’s help and faith that things will be okay is such a comfort. While things don’t always go the way we want them to, relying on the Lord and his plan is something we need to trust. As I have studied the scriptures this week, my testimony of faith has been strengthened. I have faith that things will be okay with Easton, but I can’t wait to know for sure. And if they aren’t, then we will deal with that when it comes.

Fast forward to this week:

Cohen was diagnosed with pink eye in both eyes, Trevin has been coughing his guts out (so he stayed home from school today), and Easton continues to have nose bleeds, a low grade fever, and just acts like he doesn’t feel completely himself. I was the only one who attended church on Sunday because of the illness that has been spreading throughout our family this week. Trevin seemed better yesterday and went to school. We kept Easton home. The coughing started up again last night around 6:00. I gave the boys some medicine and sent them to bed. Around midnight Cohen woke up. Colby rocked him back to sleep and came back to bed. We could hear the other two in their beds coughing off and on. My mind raced. I drifted back to sleep. Around 4:30 Cohen started crying again. I got out of bed, grabbed the thermometer, some Tylenol, and made him a bottle. He had a low grade fever, but appeared to be relaxed and comforted in my arms. As I held him for a moment, I couldn’t stop staring at him. After a few minutes I gave him the Tylenol and fed him some of his bottle. He didn’t eat much before drifting off to sleep again.

Before heading back to bed, I noticed the lamp was on in Trevin & Easton’s room with the door cracked open. I had a strong feeling to check on Easton. As I walked over to his bed, I noticed he was laying on his back with a long piece of toilet paper draped over his face. His pillow was covered in blood and he has blood down his neck and all over his lips. I tried to wipe it clean the best I could without waking him. I burst into tears. Why didn’t he come get me? Why does a little three year old boy have to deal with being comfortable cleaning up his own bloody noses? Why does this keep happening? To make matters worse, I noticed his nose had been bleeding out both sides this time and he was actually gurgling blood in the back of his throat (gross I know, but it’s the truth). After turning him on his side and making sure his nose had stopped bleeding, I cleaned his face the best I could, took the tissue, repositioned him comfortably in bed, and walked back into my room with tears in my eyes.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that tomorrow I should probably call Dr. Rosenbeck and make an appointment for Easton. I quietly woke Colby up and told him about Easton. I prayed that I might be comforted and be able to get some sleep without “over analyzing” the situation at hand.

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Today came.

After getting the boys their favorite bowl of cereal (Waffle Crisp) and making sure Cohen was okay, I texted Dr. Rosenbeck about Easton asking if he thought he needed to be seen. He suggested we should definitely draw a CBC to see what his platelet count, etc was. The day began with the boys all at home. I thought about showering and getting ready but somehow I couldn’t get myself to do that. The laundry was started, dishes cleaned, and the boys were watching some morning cartoons. While making my morning rounds around the house and picking up here and there, I walked into the boys bathroom to find a bloody mess there as well! The sink was covered in blood, the waste basket full of bloody tissues, and the toilet had a few drops of blood as well. It was clear to me that Easton had definitely been up during the night and tried his best to stop his bloody nose without waking anyone.

Throughout the day, the boys struggled listening to me, made some pretty big messes, and woke Cohen up three times. Cohen was miserable and wanted to be held all day long, Easton and Trevin played pretty well together, but were extremely wild. My house became a disaster despite my efforts to clean up as much as I could. That shower I had planned to take this afternoon never happened. Dinner was actually in the oven, but the kitchen was a huge mess. My Relief Society Presidency showed up (I forgot they were coming today) and I was still in my PJ’s with crying/wild kids. We talked for a few minutes and then I apologized for forgetting they were coming and having them see us/my house the way it was.

The second they left, I called Colby and began to cry asking him to PLEASE COME HOME. I couldn’t take it any longer.

The oven beeped and dinner was ready. Almost. I pulled the Chicken Roll Ups out of the oven and set them on top of the stove. I started a burner to hurry and make the sauce. Because I was in a hurry and holding Cohen, I turned on the wrong burner. Before realizing my mistake, the Chicken Roll Ups were burned on the bottom and the sauce was still cold. Again, the flood of tears came rolling down my face…

Colby walked in the door a few seconds later and saw me crying. The boys said they were sorry for making me cry and for not listening today. I did my best to try to ease their pain and explain I was just stressed and burned the dinner. I hugged them both, told them I loved them, provided them the unburned part of the pan for dinner, and walked into my room and broke down in front of Colby.

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I realized there is nothing better than being a mother to three of the sweetest boys in the world. I came to the conclusion that no matter what the CBC shows on Easton tomorrow, I can’t change it. I am praying for good news, but clearly my mind had been thinking the worst throughout the day. The rest of the night, I found myself looking at my children differently.

These things make my heart swell with gratitude and happiness:

The way Trevin tries to comfort Cohen when he is sad. Easton’s giggle. The way Cohen smiles and kicks his feet when he sees me walk towards him. The way Cohen fits so perfectly in my arms when I am holding him. When Easton say’s “I love you this much” with his arms stretched all the way towards his back. Or when he say’s “I love you Mom…to the the moon and stars and back.” When Trevin writes little letters to Colby and Me with his cute Kindergarten handwriting and misspelled words. When Easton pops popcorn and uses the “magic button” on the microwave that pops the popcorn perfect every time. I love them. All of them. Including my amazing husband. To the moon and stars and back. And back again.

Tonight I wore my emotions on my sleeve and let my thoughts get the best of me. I was thinking the worst for Easton without even knowing the results of his blood test. However, I am beyond grateful I had these thoughts and emotions overcome me. I looked at my life differently. I realized for a few hours, whats really important in my life. I noticed the little things in my kids that I tend to forget in the busy life we live. Instead of worrying about a messy kitchen from dinner, I popped popcorn and watched a movie with them. I held them tighter and loved them longer. I had more patience. I really, enjoyed the moment instated of just being there. And for that I am grateful.

Trevin and Easton were beyond excited to help me with Cohen’s bath. Trevin gathered the soap, washcloth, and the soft brush while Easton picked out his pajamas. With four extra hands helping me bathe Cohen, it seemed a little stressful, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I could see the excitement on the boys’ face being able to help as well as finally have their brother home.

By the end of the bath, Easton was really tired and drifted off to sleep on the couch. Colby took him to bed and tucked him in for the night. Trevin explained that he needed to sleep in our room so that he could help Cohen if he woke up in the night. After talking to Trevin for about twenty minutes, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to convince him to sleep in his own bed. He said,  “Mom. You need your sleep too. I will wake up with Cohen so you can sleep in the night.” My heart melted. We laid some blankets on our bed and let him drift off to sleep there. He is bound and determined to be the best brother in the world!

On a more personal note, tonight I couldn’t be more grateful and thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with three beautiful healthy little boys. After seeing some family members go through some very hard times trying to have children of their own, I know I am extremely blessed to have the children I have and to be trusted in raising them/teaching them the way my Heavenly Father would want me to. They say three children is a HUGE challenge, yet I am excited for the challenges we will face. As far as tonight goes, life is wonderful, and I am extremely blessed with three instead of two!